Beautiful Disaster

in the land of gods and monsters i was an angel, looking to get fucked hard

A Simplified Guide To The Sexualities

  • Homosexual: sexual attraction to houses and other building like structures.
  • Heterosexual: an undying lust for Macklemore.
  • Asexual: attraction to any and all things beginning with the letter A.
  • Pansexual: a desire for pots, pans, and other kitchen utensils.
  • Polysexual: sexual attraction to polygons.
  • Bisexual: Attraction to the 9th century Chinese army officer Bi Shiduo.
  • Demisexual: Never ending love of demi lovato

deansass:

the-kellic-ship:

deansass:

dear Australians,

Canada has less people than California alone, and we’re the 2nd biggest country in the world. Gay rights are fully legal, abortion is legal, no racism or descrimination of any kind is allowed, free healthcare, and we have moose. Come live here, we have lots of space!

sincerely,

Canadians

can Americans come too

no

(Source: deansass, via kakuna-rattataa)

Lacy tank top, blue bra, tight yoga pants
There’s a way to bum it and look cute

scolders:

If money could talk it would tell you to give it to me

(via orgasm)

nivalingreenhow:

when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires 

(via adventuresofmoosehead)

get to know me meme: [4/10] bands/musicians
lana del rey - ” No one’s gonna take my soul away, I’m living like Jim Morrison. Headed towards a fucked up holiday. Monitor, squeeze, squeeze, and I’m singing: “Fuck yeah give it to me, this is? Heaven, what I truly want.” It’s innocence lost. Innocence lost.”

(via florence-lana-marina)

Anonymous asked: tell us your most embarrassing story

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

image

ireallyhatecornnuts:

books-are-my-entire-life:

estrellaestallando:

books-are-my-entire-life:

I am a potato in a field of flowers.

image

these are potato flowers. do you feel better about yourself now?

this is the most uplifting thing one of my posts has ever been blessed with

Potato plants are a member of the nightshade family and is toxic so you also have the potential to poison your enemies (with you know, the leaves and stems, not the roots that we eat).

The more you know.

(Source: sparrowwitharrows, via adventuresofmoosehead)